Being Thankful for Something Thorny

My thorny blessing is attending grad school at not such a young age like the rest of my classmates. I am older than most of my professors at this point. It is definitely difficult to make a life change, however going to school after a long absence has been inspiring. It is a blessing that I became unemployed two years ago and get to further my education. However I still have to work and it is sometimes hard to keep up with all of our assignments. Also, I think it takes me longer to complete my papers than it used to. Concentrating can be hard too, because there are many more distractions in life when you are older than 25.  Loss of income and paying tuition while trying to keep my relationship with my husband meaningful has been a struggle as well. There isn't enough time in the day.

I know I am better off for these past two years and feel grateful for this second chance at going to school and completing my teaching degree. I did want to get a Master's Degree one day. It was just a matter of when. It had to be forced on me, but it eliminated the choice of not getting one.

I am also thankful that I am going to India to teach for two weeks in January and would never imagining doing this when I worked full-time in finance. Teaching in another country was something I wanted to do in undergraduate school but couldn't for financial reasons. Having a second chance at being in my 20s by going to college again after gaining life experience is definitely a plus.  The truth is, hind sight is 20/20 because all of the things I regretted not doing the first time around I am doing now.  How many of us get second chances at anything?  I will tell you there aren't many second chances out there, so when you get an opportunity for a do over you should take it.

The thorny part of my do over is that I feel like I should be ahead of the game, career wise, and even in my personal life, but now I am starting at the bottom of the barrel just like everybody else who will be looking for a teaching job. The contemplation about it on my part has been ridiculous and time consuming. Meanwhile, May is right around the corner, and before I know it I will be done. I wish I could be happier and more relaxed, instead of stressing about school, getting a job and whatever else one ruminates over in the middle of the night. I tell myself that I will be so happy I did this, but when exactly? I'm not sure. Maybe if I get a job, but even that will have its challenges.

My friends in career ruts are envious that I am doing this. I will admit I am scared about going into the teaching profession because of all he "bad press" it gets and the negative remarks from professionals in the field. I made it this far, so no turning back. Not looking for a third chance, two is quite enough for now.